Cobain mentioned one saying to another, “I’m so lucky to have met you”,
That’s what I thought, this luck’s price being your lack of reciprocity,
That’s the price I unintentionally pay, though knowingly I would too,
Leaving me to ponder, what Faustian bargain can this be?
Your memories reside in my mind like nails through my wrists and through a crucifix,
Golden nails that never rust, unlike the iron in my blood, cold and tart,
Your silence from March to May leaves me broken in a way I can’t fix,
Is my indignation not a reasonable price for the hurt posed by your callous heart?
You’re too fortunate to have to pay for something worth a fortune,
A human heart — granted, it’s mine, so it doesn’t really matter at all,
Exsanguinating the vessel carrying it, extracting the iron, filling a golden spoon,
A dime a dozen, perhaps, but to me it was everything -- still, it’s your call.
A thing on the doorstep, some kind of eldritch existence,
Drifting through a life I am stealing from, for the fortunes I cannot pay for,
My life is my price, not through martyrdom, but through slow disappearance,
What I wanted was your friendship and the honest conviction that it was real, nothing more.
This is solely a moment of rumination to recite in front of an uninterested, unfortunate audience,
Discomfiture and embarrassment a small fortune to pay for the hopes that you will listen,
That a genuine thought replaces your typical response of an aloof disinterest, or silence,
That the closure about irreversible estrangement becomes as palpable as a golden coffin.
a fortune from the unfortunate
BY Ariana basher